Funny Poems

Lessonitis

I’m angry with art and fed up of Spanish

Frankly I wish that D.T would just vanish

Computing is cringe and P.E makes me sick

History and Geography get on my wick …

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The Ghost of Fortune Street

I am the ghost of Fortune Street

Your local Primary

My grave was in an open field

Then they built a school on me …

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Poem for my Enemy

May your teddy bear’s eyes be chewed off by the cat

and sicked-up in your dinner unnoticed

May your brother draw pictures inside all your books

and your parents just yawn when you protest …

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When Daddy used the SatNav

With respect and apologies to the late Alfred Noyes, author of ‘Daddy Fell Into the Pond’.

“There must be a shortcut,” said Daddy one day

“Let’s see if this app can suggest a new way.”

So he tapped the screen of its glowing display

When Daddy used the SatNav

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Cattitude

My cat just sits around all day,

She doesn’t even want to play.

And when we offer gentle kisses,

She backs away and loudly hisses….

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Scaredy Cat

I’m scared of men that have big beards

The bushy ones the most

And shiver at the thought they might

Be hiding bits of toast…

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